Thinking again

As the new semester begins, I am once again stuck in that strange place between being incredibly optimistic about what will come in my life, and being even more so depressed about the sad state of things as they sometimes are and may continue to be. Although I am torn in this respect, I am overall happy about the way things are going and have little to complain about.

1. I have a great job, actually two great jobs. Shelving at the HBLL and working as a Writing Fellow tutoring. I will be working with a geology class on Dinosaurs! haha and I'm working that job with Rachel :)

2. I have a good apartment with great girls. I feel very blessed to have roommates who are strong in the gospel and tidy and kind and fun. Its a hard balance to attain and we do a pretty good job.

3. I finally chose a major and am on my way to becoming... who knows what, but hopefully something cool. A few of the classes I'm taking this semester are going to be difficult, but I can manage I think. I have friends in the program now and am starting to meet other people in several of my classes.

4. I'm most likely staying in Provo for spring/summer terms. I don't want to go back home this summer because last summer was boring and I felt useless. There isn't much left for me in Oregon City, a few friends but that's about it. I feel like I'm a different, better, more fun person in Utah. Not that I change myself but that I am more comfortable? I don't exactly know how to explain it.

5. I have a great family back home who loves me a lot. That is a huge blessing in my life.

6. My testimony has grown a lot in the past semester.

7. I am going to start preparing for a mission, because I am almost positive that is the direction my life is heading in.Yeah of course I would like to find that special someone to spend the rest of my life/eternity with, but at the same time, if that isn't what Heavenly Father has in store for me now, I will accept it and continue on with my life, striving to be the best person I can be. That's a hard place to be in, because I want so much to date, but it just hasn't happened for me, I don't know why. So I'm doing the best I can. Today I kind of took a break from everything. All my roommates left for the fireside early; I was planning on watching President Monson from the comfort of my living room. I did my BOM homework and had some time to just relax and think about everything. It was really good for me.