Everything will be better after a nap

Word of warning: I'm feeling unusuably pessimistic today. It's unfortunate because honestly, things have been going really well for me lately..... except for school.... I'm burnt out. I dropped all my classes for spring term so I can take some time for myself to figure out a few things. I need to get my focus back before I plunge back into school. I'll also be working 30 hrs/week which will make life difficult if I am taking classes, not to mention doing church stuff, volunteering, hanging out with friends, and working out on a regular basis.

But back to the present. I think my real problem lately has been motivation. People do what they care most about. I set my priorities based on what matters to me-- and right now, for pretty much the first time in my life, school is getting pushed a bit to the side. It bothers me that I am allowing myself to put other things above it. Well, church is above it but that is how its always been. The real issue is that I've been putting friends above school. It wouldn't be so bad if I had an unlimited supply of time, but I don't. I can't neglect work, I can't neglect at least a little bit of sleep, and I can't seem to neglect my friends in order to do better in my classes. There are only six days (incl. today) left, and it seems like the end will never come. I can't give up now, but I just want to. I want to give up on everything today. EVERYTHING .

I guess thats part of my problem: I can't do everything. I want to. I really want to, but it's just not humanly possible. And because of that limitation I feel inadequate at everything I am attempting to do.

--ok, I said what I wanted to say and now im done with the angsty part of my blog. sorry bout that. .. dang. there I go apologizing again.

I talked to my Dad yesterday about life and stuff, and he suggested taking a scuba class somewhere so I can get certified. It sounds like a blast. I've wanted to for a while so I will be certified when I travel. He also supported my decision to not take classes this summer- when he was in college he rushed through year-round to graduate quickly and wishes he had spent more time just enjoying college. I think that's one thing I need to realize. I need to take the time to enjoy the journey. One thing I want to do this summer is hike. I also want to take a road trip back to Oregon, and maybe another down to California. I'll also be going to Brazil for a couple of weeks in July. This summer has so much to offer. I shouldn't be so pessimistic, and I should stop overthinking everything and just take it easy. So new resolve: take it easy this summer. Stop worrying so much. and sleep. I want to get lots of sleep.