yeahhhh this might be deleted when I'm thinking more clearly

ughhhhhhh. just found out about some unwanted, unnecessary, immature, and previously unknown drama in my life.

As if there wasn't enough bothering me today-- completed term paper not being saved, losing data for my geography final project, $ issues to deal with, weird cough thing starting up, etc etc. Feeling bad about someone hating me, feeling bad because people shouldn't be pressured to do anything if they don't friggin want to, feeling bad because I don't know a. who to trust, and b. how to even trust myself sometimes. I don't always know what I think, what I want, what I know, what I feel. I am still trying to figure it out, and that's tough enough without people meddling in my life.

I know I need to just keep a positive attitude, but right now its kind of hard. And I just want to stop talking to people. Nobody gets it. Nobody. People know so little and think they know so much! (I have to admit, unfortunately myself included sometimes) So I'm probably going to shut some people out. I want to crawl into a hole and die.

actually not really. things are overall really REALLY good-- I just need to keep stuff in perspective and realize it doesn't matter what other people say about me. But I care about what other people think, not that I WANT to care or that I SHOULD care. I just do and I don't know how to change that.